REVIEW: SWANS ARE F****** ARSEHOLES at Canal Café Theatre 20 – 22 February 2026

‘A lot of spaghetti is thrown at the wall. Some of it sticks, but it doesn’t form a cohesive whole.’ **

Emma Zadow’s new play takes a very real concern – the use of AI to create sexually explicit deepfakes – and pushes it to a deliciously absurdist extreme: a woman whose AI-generated sex tape with a swan goes viral. It’s an exciting premise that promises comedy, drama and topical commentary in equal measure. However, not all great premises make for great plays. While there are genuine moments of comedy, in its current form ‘Swans Are F***** Arseholes’ doesn’t cohere as a narrative.

Sarah (also played by Zadow) is quickly thrust into the nightmare reality of having a deepfake sex tape circulate online. Yet instead of digging into what such a violation might do to a person – how they might react, unravel, or fight back – the play continually expands outward. Each scene introduces a new issue or character, without staying with any thread long enough to watch Sarah respond with meaningful action. She visits a police station and is met with a credibility-stretching level of apathy. A skeleton from her past appears in the form of Taz. Her partner’s parents withdraw their offer to help with a house deposit. Her partner then confesses that he finds the video “kinky.” In short, a lot of spaghetti is thrown at the wall. Some of it sticks, but it doesn’t form a cohesive whole. Throughout, characters insist on making bizarre choices that are hard to justify and often seem to undermine things they said or did moments before. I suspect that part of the issue lies in Sarah’s fundamentally unresponsive nature. Watching her watch her life implode is less compelling than seeing her actively attempt to reclaim control. I wanted her to do more.

There are strong moments. Zadow undeniably has a flair for sharp, playful dialogue – I laughed often, with one Fruit Shoot gag proving particularly memorable. The multimedia elements, used to show how students at the school where Sarah works as a receptionist react to the video, are inventive and effective.

Freja Gift’s direction embraces the play’s absurdity with a sense of playfulness, but the staging proved distracting. Perhaps I chose my seat poorly, but several scenes were performed directly behind me. My neck proved insufficient for the challenge – perhaps a swan would have fared better. It was also sometimes difficult to discern where scenes were set. Given that a phone is a key prop, asking the audience to invest in an empty iPhone case and pretend there was a phone inside felt like an oversight.

The highlight of the evening is undoubtedly the acting. Emma Zadow delivers a committed and energetic performance as Sarah. The supporting cast – Benjamin Sumrie, Mary Tillett and Michael Bendib – make the most of their multirolling. Bendib’s turn as the police office receptionist is a particular comic standout.

There is a bold, timely play somewhere inside ‘Swans Are F***** Arseholes,’ but it requires a tighter narrative focus and a more active central arc to be found.

Swans Are F****** Arseholes by Emma Zadow / Canal Café Theatre / 20 – 22 February 2026

Keep in touch with the company: https://bsproductions.co.uk/current-productions/