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          by Siân Rowland



What sort of pub theatre goer are you?

Take our fun quiz and find out which pub theatre visitor you are!


1.It’s pub theatre time! But what are you going to wear?

a)Dust off the tux and polish up your bestest shiny shoes. Feather boa optional.

b)Not sure but maybe a smart pair of shoes instead of trainers just in case.

c)Pull on some clean jeans and maybe a swipe of lipstick.

d)These jammie bottoms will be fine, right? Spritz some Febreze on that Ramones t shirt and it’ll be good for another couple of weeks.


2.Bit of time before the show starts? What shall we eat?

a)Delicious food downstairs if you’re at the 503 or N16, fish and chips from Poppy’s if your show is at the Etcetera and the world’s your oyster if it’s an Islington pub theatre.

b)There’s a half-eaten cereal bar in your pocket if you get peckish.

c)Three course pre-theatre set menu and a glass of fizz please.

d)You had something to eat at home. Who knows if there will be anything to eat at the pub?


3.The bell has gone and the doors are open but you haven’t finished your drink. Do you

a)Calmly walk in- you’ve already poured it into a plastic cup.

b)Neck it ferverishly. Drinking in a theatre? Whatever next!

c)Everyone else seems to be grabbing one of those plastic glasses by the bar so you do the same. It’s nice to have a drink while you watch the play.

d)Balance a pint in each hand with a packet of kettle chips between your teeth. You want to be comfy, right?


4.Mobile phones. Off or silent?

a)You remember to switch it off just as the lights go down.  

b)Definitely off. But is it really off? Check every few minutes in case it’s magically turned itself back on. On second thoughts switch it off and leave it at home. Preferably in a lead-lined box.

c)Snap a couple of pics of your ticket and programme next to your drink, pop on a nice Mayfair filter and Instagram it. Maybe Boomerang yourself looking excited and don’t forget #intervaltweet so all your theatre buddies can see you’re having fun. And you never leave it switched on during the show.

d)Forget you have a phone until it goes off loudly right at the crucial point of the play. Look around and shrug until it stops ringing. Repeat.


5.You notice a bit of noise from the footie match on the telly in the bar and a passing police siren. What do you do?

a)Tut loudly and harrumph a bit. Don’t they know there’s a play on? How dare the emergency services put their sirens on!

b)It just adds to the authenticity of the play.

c)There’s a bit of background noise even in the big West End theatres so it’s fine.

d)Wander downstairs to check the score, grab another drink and wander back in. Well, who cares if you’ve missed something?


6.The play was brilliant. An exhilarating piece of new writing, an energetic revival or afoot-tapping musical. How do you let the cast know you’ve enjoyed it?

a)Stand up, stretch and yawn loudly and widely while scratching your armpits. Tread on everyone as you stumble out with your nose buried in your phone checking to see who was ringing you.

b)Lead the standing ovation, throw roses and shout ‘Author!’ until hoarse and/ or a nervous-looking stage manager emerges to calm things down.

c)You’re really impressed at the high quality of the acting so you clap firmly and repair downstairs to discuss the merits of the piece with your friend.

d)Applaud firmly, hang around in the bar so you can congratulate the cast and crew on a job well done and remember to send a complimentary tweet to the cast, crew, production company and theatre.


How did you score?

1)a 2 b 3 c 4 d 1

2)a 4 b 1 c 2 d 3

3)a 4 b 1 c 3 d 0

4)a 3 b 2 c 5 d -2

5)a 1 b 2 c 4 d 0

6)a 0 b 1 c 3 d 4


0-5 You’re such a regular pub theatre goer that the boundaries between home and theatre have become a bit blurred! Is that a live performance or is a Netflix show? Who cares. We love your laidback attitude but don’t forget to get dressed next time you venture out.


6-14 You’re new to this aren’t you? Don’t worry you’ll get the hang of it soon. Pub theatres are friendly places so chat to the person sitting next to you, relax and enjoy the show. Maybe next time encourage some friends who think that if it isn’t in the West End it’s not worth bothering with to see something with you. With such variety on offer there’s bound to be something to suit everyone’s taste and besides, the ticket cost are much more pocket-friendly.


15-19 You’ve been to a few pub theatres and appreciate the quality of work being put on. The more you go the more you’ll become au fait with the style of each theatre. Before long you’ll be greeting the box office staff like old friends.


20-24 Expert level. Are you one of our reviewers? You know your White Bear from your Old Red Lion. You know which theatre bar serves the best craft beer and where the tastiest chips are to be found. You probably know the name of the artistic director’s cat and you definitely know which seat has the best view. Keep up the good work! Seriously though, have you considered being one of our reviewers?


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